11 ways to overcome self-sabotage

11 ways to overcome self-sabotage

What stops us from achieving our hopes and dreams? What keeps us from making our goals our reality? For many of my hypnosis clients, it’s their own self-limiting habits and beliefs. So today I’m sharing 11 ways to overcome self-sabotage.

Why do we sabotage ourselves?

What is the reason we might succumb to self-sabotage? Many psychology experts believe it is a method of self-protection. Deep down, we are afraid of getting our heart broken when our dreams don’t work out. Throwing a wrench in the process is a way of preventing future disappointment.

11 ways to overcome self-sabotage

Take a look at these suggestions and do what works for you. If one doesn’t stick, move to another. In time, you’ll be on your way to kicking the nasty habit of self-sabotage.

Accept that you deserve the good things in life

1.Accept that you deserve the good things in life

Even though we have hopes and dreams, sometimes we may feel that we are not deserving of good outcomes. To overcome this, you need to believe that you are worth it, and that you do deserve a happy ending. Practicing self-love will definitely help move this process along.

2. Ditch imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome is when we doubt our abilities or feel fraudulent. We might think:

“Why would others listen to me/hire me/read my blog/other self-doubt issue? Do I really know what I’m doing???”

It’s very common even for the most successful people, and can be difficult to overcome. Believing in yourself and knowing that you bring your own unique point of view to the table is key. Remember, nobody expects you to be perfect!

Related: How to ditch perfectionism for good

Avoid interacting with naysayers

3. Avoid interacting with naysayers

This may mean politely excusing yourself from lunch with sad-sack co-workers or limiting the time you spend with a critical parent. Don’t let them suck you in to their negativity!

They may actually have your own interests at heart, but if they’re doing anything other than encouraging you to follow your dreams, you should probably limit the time you spend with them. Instead, opt to enjoy the company of those who are your cheerleaders.

You many consider having a real heart-to-heart with the gloomy people in your life. Politely tell them that you appreciate their looking out for your best interests, but you’re not seeking their advice at this time. You might even go on to explain that you’re trying out a new “positive outlook”. That’s something that they might really get behind you on!

4. Watch your words

What kind of things are you telling yourself? Are you using loving, kind words? Or are you falling into the trap of negative self-talk? If this is something you find yourself doing, make a point to cease this self-harming habit.

When you find yourself saying something self-deprecating, make a conscious habit of stopping immediately, then instead saying something loving and positive. Some affirmations you might find helpful:

  • I am perfect exactly as I am.
  • The Universe fully supports and loves me.
  • I am doing the best I can.
  • I am, and always have been, good enough.

5. Celebrate little wins along the way

I like to spend a few moments at the end of each day thinking about what I accomplished – big or small. Finished a blog post? Wrote a chapter in my book? Made myself dinner rather than opting for take-out?

Everyone has something they accomplished each day. Making a habit of reviewing your daily achievements is an effective form of self-encouragement. It will help remind you that you can make strides toward any goal and keep that momentum going.

6. Choose love over fear

There are only two things that motivate people: Love and fear. Literally everything we do can be broken down to one of those two categories.

Fear is built into our system as a way to protect us. But for many people, that fear can be over-protective to the point that it keeps us from taking chances. That’s one way self-sabotage creeps in.

When you’re fearful about doing something, instead ask yourself, “How can I choose love instead?” When choosing a loving path for yourself it probably won’t be the easiest route, but it will never steer you wrong.

You are the author of your own story - Deepak Chopra

7. Rewrite your story

Visualizing your future is a powerful way to make it come to fruition. It’s your story – so why not take charge of how it goes?

Hypnosis is a way of reprogramming your subconscious. It allows you to let go of old, unwanted beliefs that are holding you back, and see yourself as that successful “you” you’re reaching for.

Helping people rewrite their story is what I love most about doing hypnosis. I offer free consultations and would be happy to speak to you about your options.

8. Stop playing the victim

For some people, accountability can be a factor. When something goes wrong along our path, it’s easier to blame an outside force than to look inward for the real reason. Are you playing the victim? If so, it’s time to take responsibility for your own well-being. But don’t beat yourself up over it.

No one every achieved greatness by playing it safe - Harry Gray

9. Give yourself permission to make mistakes

I know that you know, nobody is perfect. But still, we hold ourselves to such high standards that when we make mistakes it can be a crushing blow to the ego. Something we might try to avoid in the future by playing it safe – a sneaky version of self-sabotage.

Instead of beating yourself up about a mistake or setback, take some time to contemplate what lesson you’ve learned. This is a critical step to ensure you don’t repeat it, and will give you the confidence you need to move along on your journey.

10. Heal your inner child

For most people, the underlying reasons for self-sabotage were ingrained in us during our developmental years. What would you tell him or her if you could, right now? Ponder that question and journal or meditate on it.

Age regression hypnosis is a way to connect with that inner child on a deeper basis. Under hypnosis, I take you back to your childhood years so you can find the root cause of your self-sabotage. Once you learn where they came from, you have the ability to react differently in your waking state.

11. Accept that there is nothing wrong with you

When we aren’t successful at reaching a goal, it’s easy to be overly-critical of ourselves. Self-acceptance is crucial to moving past any type of behavior challenge. Remind yourself that you are perfect just as you are. You’re doing the best you can, and that is always good enough.


As a Transformational Life Coach and Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, I help people train their brain so they can break old, unwanted patterns. Book your free consultation and assessment online.

Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

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