Why it’s important to First Love Yourself (FLY)

Why you should First Love Yourself (FLY) Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

So many of us – especially women, and more so mothers – spend the majority of our day giving (showing love) to others. When we neglect our own needs, the result can be very detrimental to our wellness. Today I’m sharing why it’s important to First Love Yourself (FLY).

Do you deserve to be loved?

Those of us who have a hard time finding love for ourselves often feel undeserving of love. Why? Typically other people in our lives have made us feel this way – with either their words or actions. Usually this is unintentional, or at the very least ignorant of the impact it has on our self-image.

Take a few minutes to reflect upon who in your life has led you to feel this way. Was it a parent? A teacher? Bullies at school? Perhaps you feel the need to live up to the expectations of your spouse? Your in-laws? Your children?

Whoever it is, acknowledging this is the first step to loving yourself. But don’t spend too much time on it. You need to really let go of any resentment and remember that we are all human, and doing the best we can with the tools we have at our disposal.

It's not selfish to love yourself first - Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

It’s not selfish to love yourself first

I’m not saying you should give up caring for your children and family. But despite what society has taught us, loving yourself first is not a selfish act.

The Universal Law of Balance comes into play here. If your day is spent giving, giving, and giving some more – without receiving in return – you are dangerously off-balance! Before you know it you may begin to feel overworked, under-appreciated, resentful, and even depressed. And that’s not going to lead to happiness in any relationship.

It’s crucial to throw yourself a lifeline before it’s too late!

It’s *your* job to look out for #1

That’s right – YOU have to look out for YOU because nobody else is going to do it. And if you expect someone else to, then you are being unfair to them. Putting this responsibility on others is going to lead to nothing but disappointment. Take responsibility for your own happiness and well-being.

Related: How expectations are blocking your happiness and how to fix it

You're setting an example for others - Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

You’re setting an example for others

You may not realize the profound affect you have on the people around you. Whether it’s your children, your co-workers, your friends, or even people on the street – what you do and say is being watched and absorbed.

If you have children, this is especially crucial. Whether you realize it or not, they are watching your every move and will emulate your behavior. By loving yourself, you will be showing them that it’s OK for them to do the same. They will develop healthier habits along with a sense of self-confidence and peace.

You can’t really know love until you find it in yourself

Imagine for a moment that you are offered a job as a Professor in the Masters program at an Ivy League University. The problem is, the highest level of education you’ve completed thus far is a High School Diploma. You certainly aren’t prepared to teach these students, because you haven’t learned the lessons yourself.

As in the scenario above, finding unconditional love for yourself is the only way to manifest love from others. You won’t be emotionally ready for love until you know what it looks like.

But you certainly CAN do something about that! Healthy relationships need a healthy foundation. Finding unconditional love for yourself is simply a matter of changing how you think and modifying your behaviors. These are things that you control!

What does "loving yourself first" look like? Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

What does “loving yourself first” look like?

Specifics are going be different for everyone, but generally speaking, Loving Yourself First is…

  • Holding a realistic view of your limitations and respecting them
  • Finding forgiveness for yourself and letting go of past mistakes
  • Having the ability to say “no” without feelings of guilt
  • Taking responsibility for your own happiness and well-being
  • Respecting your earthly body – kicking unhealthy habits
  • Eliminating procrastination, self-limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, and self-sabotage
  • Taking time for self-care

Why it’s important to First Love Yourself (FLY)

Putting yourself first is not an easy thing to do, especially if you have been neglecting your self-love for years. Hypnotherapy is an effective way to get started on your FLY path. To learn more, reach out to me directly or book a consultation online.

Related: How to love and accept your whole self


As a Transformational Life Coach and Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, I help people train their brain to think differently so they can break old, unwanted patterns. Book your free consultation and assessment online.

Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

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