How to speak your truth with love

How to speak your truth with love - Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

One of the most common things I see in clients is a blocked throat chakra. I can tell immediately because I empathically begin to cough and clear my throat when we start interacting. This is almost always an indication that fear is holding them back from communicating. So today I’m sharing tips on how to speak your truth with love.

I can 100% relate to these clients. I literally spent decades holding back my feelings, opinions, and ideas based on the fear that I would be chastised or ridiculed. Or worse, thought of as silly or even crazy! Sometimes I was completely misunderstood, which caused a lot of strained relationships.

There are plenty of examples where people close to me did react negatively when I expressed an opinion or offered up an idea. It is something that has happened since childhood, and it still happens! Over time I became conditioned to keeping thoughts to myself and holding it in, because I was afraid that someone else would react in a negative way.

So instead I chose to just stay closed-mouthed to avoid potential conflict and humiliation

However by doing this, I began to harbor unhealthy emotions like low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, and a whole lot of resentment toward others. The worst part of all of this is that I wasn’t being my authentic self. It kept me from having healthy relationships.

It would be easy to blame this self-harming habit on my exes. Or my parents. Or bullies in school. Or former bosses. But it boils down to one person who was at fault – me! I simply cared too much about what others thought! And not only did I care about what they thought, I was afraid they wouldn’t accept me for my true self.

It was only one person’s fault: Mine

Only in recent years did I realize this! Once I did, I decided to take 100% ownership of it, and knew I needed to take some action to change. But how? How could I communicate my true feelings without worrying about what others thought?

I tried a few different tactics – some were successful and some, maybe not so much. Here are some things that worked for me – I’m sharing today in hopes that they will help you as well.

It was my own fault - Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

How to speak your truth with love

First, heal thyself

Before anything, you need to take ownership. Do some self-reflection – look inward and see if you can determine why you have been holding back. Is the reason you’ve been doing so justified in your current situation? Whether the answer is “yes” or “no” – what can you do right now to change it? What actions can you take?

You may also want to work on healing your throat chakra through hypnosis, meditation, and/or energy clearing. I would be happy to do a customized session with you, and provide additional resources that will help.

Practice self-awareness

If you’ve truly owned up to the real cause of your situation (ie., you) then you have moved past blaming others. Now it’s time to change how you think about things. This type of change isn’t easy, and certainly takes time and practice. The best advice I can give is to work on self-awareness.

Is there a recent occasion when you were involved in a discussion and found yourself holding back from expressing your thoughts? Or perhaps you were in a difficult conversation about something and instead of sticking up for yourself, you just kept quiet to avoid confrontation?

Had you decided to speak up, what would you have said? What point would you have made? Pondering these questions will help you to become aware of future situations.

If you have something important to say (or even unimportant for that matter), you need to speak up! But there are two factors that are important here: Love and trust.

Put love first - Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

Put love first

Often we’re holding back from expressing ourselves it can be because of a touchy subject. If that’s the case, it’s important to take extra care to respond with loving intent. But how do you do that?

From my own personal experience, if I’m about to have a difficult conversation, I ask Archangel Gabriel to help me with my words. I will reach out to him intuitively and say something like:

Archangel Gabriel, would you please help me with this difficult conversation? Please help me to have the courage to speak. Help me find the right words to express myself, clearly and concisely, while doing so with the most loving intent. Thank you.

I keep love top-of-mind, and try to frame my words in such a way that I am clear about that intention. Remember to speak your truth with love.

Mind your mannerisms

Being mindful of your body language and voice inflection are very important if you want to come across in a non-threatening, calm, and controlled way. As difficult as it may be, try not to let your emotions get the best of you.

When we are upset, our voice may be higher pitched than normal. We breathe more quickly or find that we are even holding our breath. We might sometimes start to cry. These are all normal physical reactions, but when we display them during a conversation we won’t likely be taken seriously and could be considered argumentative.

If we’re angry about something, our voice will project more loudly. We may display physical reactions like crossed arms, a furrowed brow, tightened facial muscles, sweating, and trembling. Some people literally become red in the face.

Be aware of how you’re coming across.

Don't be shy - Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

Don’t overcompensate

If you are too calm and demure, you may find that you’re quickly disregarded or dismissed. In order to be taken seriously, try to remain calm and collected.

Smile gently, tilt your head to one side, and be aware of where your hands are. Above all, maintain eye contact.

Trust is also key

Sometimes our imaginations get the best of us. We fear an upcoming situation, thinking it’s going to be the worst possible outcome. But very rarely does that actually happen – if ever! It’s important to trust the Universe and know that however things work out will always be for the greater good.

That said, we certainly can’t control other people. Even if you become a master at holding uncomfortable conversations, there will certainly be times when the other party is not going to have any of it.

My only advice is to avoid taking it personally. If you speak your truth with love, then you are being your authentic self, and there is nothing better than being you.


As a Transformational Life Coach and Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, I help people train their brain to think differently so they can break old, unwanted patterns. Book your free consultation and assessment online.

Jen Merkel Holistic Hypnosis and Wellness

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