How to love and accept your whole self: Why it’s important to find unconditional love for every part of your beautiful soul
If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you’ve probably heard me describe myself as a lightworker. That’s defined as someone who has dedicated their life to bringing loving, light energy into the world.
Believe it or not, lightworkers sometimes get a bad rap. This is usually because of a general misconception that we only deal with the sweet, loving, beautiful, sunshine-and-butterflies stuff. We’re busy reciting positive affirmations and posting images about how to manifest good juju all the time. And honestly, I do think that some so-called “lightworkers” really do only concentrate on that aspect.
But to be a true, well-rounded spiritual coach, one has to allow the dark, dirty stuff to come out too. That means seeking out the hidden stuff, the things we don’t like to admit… our shadow selves.
If you spend your whole life in the light, you are doing yourself a disservice.
Why? First of all, people are complicated! Everyone has multiple facets to them, and as per Universal Law, there always needs to be balance.
- Light vs. dark
- Healthy vs. unhealthy
- Love vs. fear*
- Spirit vs. ego
- The seen vs. the hidden
- Acceptance vs. denial
- Work vs. sloth
- Beauty vs. ugliness
* Fear manifests itself in many emotional forms including jealousy, envy, intolerance, insecurity, lack of confidence, etc.
It’s easy to love and accept the positive side of your beautiful soul, but that ugly, hidden, shadow side that we don’t want to show is so hard to deal with, isn’t it?
When you spend all your time in the light, you aren’t seeing the whole picture. Living in denial isn’t realistic, and it can be downright unhealthy.
In order to be healthy in a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual manner, you must embrace and accept all parts of yourself.
Seeing the dark side of yourself – and learning to truly accept it – allows you to heal and grow. It allows you to evolve on a more spiritual level. Believe it or not, it gets you closer to the Divine!
How? Unconditional love is Divine Love. Unconditional love IS the Divine. And loving and accepting your whole self is the epitome of unconditional love.
How to love and accept your whole self
With hard work, practice, and quite a bit of soul-searching, you can achieve unconditional self-love. Here’s how:
Step 1: Assessment
First, you need to do a self-assessment. It doesn’t have to be complicated, and it doesn’t have to be all-encompassing. In fact, this will work best if you start small. Don’t try to tackle everything at once, this isn’t a race! You can always come back and do it again later.
Start by making a list of at least 5 things that you don’t like about yourself. I will put myself out there and share some of my own:
- Anxiety when things don’t go as expected
- Gets frustrated easily (usually when technology isn’t working)
- Fear of missing out/being left out
Now, what are your 5 things? Write them down, then proceed to Step 2.
Need some help? Your Moon sign is about your shadow side! If you don’t know your Moon sign, you’ll need to have the date, time, and place that you were born – then you can head over to this site to find out. Do some research on your Moon sign to prompt some ideas of what you might want to include on your list.
Step 2: Acceptance
Take a look at your list of 5 things. Are they a good assessment of the ugly side of yourself? GOOD! Now… release any need you may have to change.
Yes! You must accept your imperfections and realize that they are all part of your soul’s balance. They, along with your “good” qualities, make up the unique, original, beautiful, flawed, damaged, PERFECT soul that is YOU. It’s time to be at peace with them.
You don’t need to change a thing about yourself. You are perfect just as you are!
Remember that everyone has a shadow side! Most people won’t just put it out there for all to see – after all, it is something we typically like to keep hidden because we want others to see the best of us. And there’s nothing wrong with that, unless you’ve hidden it from yourself to the point of denial.
I took my list and carefully considered it. I have done enough work on myself to know why these emotions are a part of me. But even if you don’t fully understand this about yourself, it’s OK – you don’t have to! To just recognizing these things in yourself and accepting them is what’s important here.
Step 3: Love
This is the hardest part! But to fully heal you can’t just stop at acceptance. The third, very important step, is to love and embrace those shadow parts of yourself. This is truly difficult because they are obviously things we don’t like about ourselves.
This is where you need to really give yourself a break. Look at that “list of 5 things” again and then say these affirmations out loud three times, as an important reminder:
- I am perfectly human
- I love and accept myself exactly as I am
- The Universe fully supports and loves me**
** Credit: Louise Hay
TIP: Rose quartz helps with unconditional love, so you might want to grab one to use during this process.
Repeat this exercise regularly until you feel you have fully found love and acceptance of the items on your list. When you feel you’re ready, go back to Step 1 with another “list of 5”. Rinse and repeat!
How to love and accept your whole self
Like any important life lessons, this is an ongoing process. But when you work through this exercise time and again, you will indeed find unconditional love for your whole self.
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